How to Choose the Right Doula: Questions to Ask + What to Look For
- Kayla Wamsley
- Aug 27
- 3 min read
You’re not just hiring support for birth, you’re inviting someone into one of the most sacred and vulnerable moments of your life.
Let that sink in.
That’s why choosing the right doula isn’t about picking the first person you find online or hiring someone because your best friend liked them. It’s about connection. It’s about trust. And it’s about feeling seen, heard, and held.
As a doula, I’ve supported families through all kinds of births, from planned home births to surprise cesareans. And what I’ve learned is this: the magic happens when you feel safe with the people around you. That’s where the right doula comes in.
So let’s talk about how to find that person.
What to Ask in a Doula Interview
Most doulas offer a free consultation or interview, and if they don’t, that’s a red flag.
This is your chance to ask questions, get a feel for their personality, and see if there’s alignment. You don’t need to come with a resume’s worth of questions, but it’s helpful to ask:
What is your birth philosophy?
How do you support clients during labor?
What’s your experience with births like mine (VBAC, unmedicated, hospital, home, etc.)?
How do you handle unexpected situations?
What’s your availability around my due date?
It’s not about the "right answers." It’s about how they answer.
Do they make you feel calm? Confident? Empowered? That’s the vibe you’re looking for.
How to Choose a Doula Whose Personality Matches Yours
Personality compatibility is everything. You might find the most experienced doula in the world, but if their energy doesn’t match yours, it won’t work.
Do you want someone soft-spoken and nurturing? Or someone with big energy who’s ready to hype you up and fiercely advocate for you?
Think about what makes you feel safe. Then find a doula who brings that energy into your space.
Choosing a Doula: Why Credentials Aren’t Everything
Yes, training and certification are important. But so is lived experience. Ask about the kinds of births they’ve supported. Ask about what they’ve learned. A seasoned doula will be able to offer insight, presence, and support that goes beyond textbook answers.
Sometimes the best doulas are the ones who feel right, even if they’re newer or don’t have a long list of certifications. And sometimes, the most certified doulas won’t be the best fit for you. Experience matters, but so does alignment.
How Your Doula Supports Both You and Your Birth Partner
A good doula doesn’t replace your birth partner, they support both of you.
In your consultation, ask how they work with spouses or partners. A great doula will know how to guide your partner so they can be involved, empowered, and confident too.
This isn’t just about your support. It’s about creating a strong birth team.
What’s Included in Doula Services? How to Compare Support Options
Doulas structure their services differently. Some include prenatal visits, birth planning, and postpartum support. Others offer labor-only services.
Make sure you understand what’s included in their packages, and what isn’t.
And don’t be afraid to ask about payment plans, what happens if your birth goes differently than planned, or what kind of communication you’ll have during pregnancy.
Transparency is everything.
Why Choosing the Right Doula Can Shape Your Entire Birth Experience
You only give birth to this baby once. And how you feel about that experience will stay with you for the rest of your life. A doula won’t control the outcome, but the right doula can help you feel powerful, prepared, and supported no matter what happens.
When you feel safe, you can soften. When you feel heard, you can surrender. And when you feel respected, you can truly show up for the kind of birth experience you deserve. So don’t rush this decision. Interview a few doulas. Reflect on what you need. And trust your intuition. With the right support, you’ll know exactly how powerful you really are.
Ready to take the next step?
I offer free consultations so you can ask questions, feel things out, and see if we’re a good match. No pressure. Just connection.
Reach out here to book your free doula interview today.
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