Finding Joy in Motherhood: How to Embrace Everyday Moments with Presence and Gratitude

Let’s be honest: motherhood isn’t what you see on Instagram. It's not all sunshine and rainbow moments, smiling babies, and coffee-sipping peace while your toddler plays quietly. It’s dishes in the sink (again), the same toys on the floor, the same bedtime battles, and the bone-deep exhaustion that settles into your soul on some days.

But here’s the truth that I’ve had to learn (and relearn): joy can still exist in those moments. Right in the middle of the hard. Right in the heart of the mundane. And I want to talk about how you can find it, because you deserve to feel more than just tired. You deserve to feel joy, even on the days when motherhood feels heavier than it feels beautiful.

The Reality of Motherhood: Not Always What You Imagined

Let’s lay it out simply: the everyday routine of motherhood can feel like it’s pulling the color out of your life. No one really prepares you for how monotonous it can be. You wake up, you feed, you clean, you manage meltdowns, you manage yourself, and then it’s all over again the next day.

And sometimes, if we’re being real, it feels like you’re losing yourself in it. Like the woman you used to be before motherhood is buried under the weight of routines and expectations. That’s not something to feel guilty for noticing. It’s just something to name, and then work with. Because while motherhood is hard, it’s also transformative. It grows you. It reshapes you. And yes, it can still be a source of deep, soul-level joy.

But here’s the catch: you won’t find joy by accident. Not in this season. Not when it’s this loud, this sticky, and this relentless. You have to look for it. You have to choose it.

What Does Joy Actually Look Like in Motherhood?

Joy in motherhood doesn’t always look like smiling selfies or the perfectly clean playroom. It’s not always loud or obvious. Sometimes, it’s quiet. It sneaks in through the smallest cracks. It’s found in the way your baby’s hand curls around your finger. It’s in the five minutes of silence while they nap and the sunlight hits your floor just right. It’s in the belly laugh that bursts out of your toddler after their tenth knock-knock joke. It’s in the way your child looks for you in a crowd, and their face lights up when they find you.

Joy doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real. In fact, the quiet joy, the kind that comes in moments you might have missed if you weren’t paying attention, that’s the kind that can carry you through the hard days.

My Experience: Learning to See It

I’ll be honest with you, this didn’t come naturally to me. There were seasons when I felt completely disconnected from joy. I’d be elbow-deep in diapers, dishes, and all the crying, wondering how everyone else seemed to be soaking up the bliss of motherhood while I was barely staying afloat. But I started small. I began by naming the good things out loud, even if they felt tiny.

“She smiled at me like I’m her whole world today.” “I got a full cup of coffee in before it went cold.” “We had a dance party in the living room and I forgot about my to-do list for ten minutes.”

Those moments added up. My brain started scanning for them, even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days. It’s not toxic positivity. I don’t ignore the hard. I just refuse to let it steal everything from me.

How You Can Start Finding Joy—Even Today

If motherhood has felt hard and heavy lately (or always), here are some ways to begin gently shifting your experience:

1. Reframe the Mundane

Instead of “I have to give the baby a bath,” try “I get to be the one who makes her feel warm and safe tonight.” The task hasn’t changed. But the energy around it has.

2. Keep a Joy Journal

At the end of each day, write down 1–3 things that made you smile, feel proud, or laugh. Even if they’re small. Especially if they’re small.

3. Slow Down Where You Can

Multitasking through every moment can make you miss the good stuff. Try to pause once a day. Put your phone down. Be fully present, even if it’s just while brushing your child’s hair or watching them eat.

4. Give Yourself Permission to Feel It All

You can love your kids and still find motherhood hard. You can feel gratitude and frustration in the same breath. Don’t wait until things are “perfect” to allow yourself joy. Let it in now.

Why This Matters

When you stop to find joy in the mundane moments of motherhood, something shifts. You stop chasing an idealized version of motherhood and start living your actual, beautifully imperfect life. And that is so much more powerful than pretending everything is okay.

Because when your child looks back on their childhood, they won’t remember how many dishes were in the sink or whether you were behind on laundry. They’ll remember how you smiled at them in the middle of the chaos. How you laughed at their jokes. How you made ordinary days feel safe and loved.

That’s the kind of joy that lasts. That’s the kind of motherhood that matters.

Your Next Step

If motherhood feels more draining than joyful right now, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to stay stuck there. Joy is available to you, even now. Even here.

Start with one moment today. One smile. One laugh. One deep breath where you let yourself be here.

And if you’re craving more support, more grounding, or just someone to walk alongside you in this messy, beautiful season, I’m here. Whether it’s birth, postpartum, or finding your way back to yourself, I’d love to support you through it.

Reach out. Let’s make this journey something you can actually feel good about, even when it’s hard.